Role models are people we look up to. People, we want to imitate or be like. This happens with the most consistent and visible people in our life. Public figures like movie stars, singers, athletes, and politicians may become our role models later – but the first role models of every child are his/her parents.
Our children watch our every move and sense our values thoughts and beliefs. They check if we practice what we preach and unfailingly imbibe the way we speak and act. This is not to put pressure but create awareness of the role we play in our children’s lives.
The Importance of Parents as Role Models
Let us review the role our parents played in shaping our own values, beliefs, and identity. If I were to ask you – think of your most core values and retrace them to the time which shaped them – do you think it will lead back to childhood?
Many times than not, it will. Our parents are our first heroes. We are dependent on them for our survival. They form our first world. Meaning how they behave with each other, how they carry themselves in the extended world, and how they behave when no one is looking – shapes our perceptions of how we should be in the world.
For example,
If Anne’s mother praises people when she meets them but talks very badly about them in private – Anne believes that the world is a distrustful place and we need to hide who we are.
While Shikha’s dad is extra paranoid about a natural calamity happening to them. Meaning every time they travel he checks all the emergency exits of hotels and planes, and makes them do emergency drills at home – so Shikha believes the world is a very unsafe and scary place. I need to survive it all the time.
Whilst Ram’s parents are extremely achievement conscious. Everything comes down to grades, medals, and certificates with them. Ram thus believes that he is nothing without his achievements. His grade and trophy decide his parent’s love for him and if those are not there, his parents do not value or love him.
Now I am not implying that we have to always keep on watching our every behavior but if we can understand the impact we have on our children’s lives, we can create better paths for ourselves and invariably create one for them too.
Let’s review 5 ways we can have a positive impact on our children’s lives.
5 Ways to Be a Positive Role Model For Your Children
1. Be Open about your Experiences
Children are experiencing our life with us. They watch keenly how we respond to different people, places, and circumstances in our life. It is very important we share our reactions and responses with them. Share our failures, successes, learnings, downfalls, and lessons.
When we share our lessons with them and make them a part of our journey, three things happen. They feel a strong sense of belonging with us, they understand our point of view and they learn from our mistakes. These eventually lead to a stronger bond and help kids share their successes and failures with us. Thus showing them firsthand the power of communication and bonding within the family.
2. Be Mindful of your Actions
Actions do speak louder than words. Our kids watch our every move. So if you have claimed to be on diet, don’t reach out for the pastry or pasta. If you are preaching to them about the health benefits of less screen time then don’t be on the phone surfing Instagram all the time.
Since we are sowing the seeds of their future. They literally pick up all our habits. So keeping this in mind – be a role model for good habits. Take care of your body, home, and environment. Show them health, love, and dedication so that become their future.
3. Be Encouraging with your Words and Tone
Tone comprises 70 percent of the communication and is extremely important just like well-chosen words. When we talk to our children the words we speak become their inner voice. The tone we speak to them in becomes an encouraging or shaming tone in their heads.
As we know our inner voice is extremely crucial in tough situations and that’s the role a parent’s words play in the adult life of their kids. So we need to be very careful how we speak to them. Kind encouraging words and tone are like watering flowers and plants. It helps our kids bloom and blossom in the garden of their life.
4. Be Generous with your Appreciation
Just like kind words in tough times show light to our kids, generous appreciation after a job well done helps them to build their self-esteem and self-image. Appreciation is validation. It makes them feel they are seen by you and that creates feelings of happiness, connection, and hope.
All kids want to make their parents proud. That is a universal truth. Our words of appreciation go a long way in their head and heart and play a vital role in how they see themselves all their life.
5. Be the Change you want to see in your Child
This applies beautifully over here. The more we show in actions and words the kind of person we want our kids to be, the more likely they will become that.
This is something I apply with my kids all the time. If I want them to become more healthy and active, I begin to do that. if I want them to be more planned and productive, I begin to be that. It’s that simple. This applies to our partners, friends, and family too.
To conclude, be the change you want to see in your kids and they will follow.