Empowerment seems to be the new mantra today and something which instantly takes your power away from you is comparison. As our exposure to the world increases, this becomes the deadliest weapon of today’s age. Jealousy is a slow poison that kills our spirit leaving us powerless and hopeless.
Let me start with a personal example.
When I began my professional Instagram page I had about 100 followers. As I went on seeing my contemporary’s account and the huge following they had with all the comments and engagement, I would feel an instant twinge of jealousy. Then one day I had to really explain to myself that I cannot compare my Level 1 with someone’s Level 5 0r 10. It takes years to get there and with time and effort, I can too.
It actually felt better to compare my past achievements to where I am today and see the growth. That’s the only comparison that truly matters.
So on that note, let’s see 5 Ideas on How To Stop Comparing Myself To Others?
1. Lessen Social Media
I heard somewhere that your best photo can be found on Facebook/Instagram and the worst photo on your Aadhar/ID card. So true for me!
We must avoid comparing our lives- usually the boring, tedious bit to someone’s highlight reel filled with laughter, holidays, and fantasy. Though truth be told, it’s easier said than done. When you’re scrolling through Instagram stuck at home, bored with life, or having a particularly bad day – those photos of someone having a luxurious holiday with their amazing spouse, family, or friends can completely get you deep-fried in jealousy.
But remember that – that person also has such kinds of days which are not posted on Instagram Stories – just like you or I would not! We would also put forth our best moments.
I have personally unfollowed so many accounts, limited my use of Instagram, and created a less social media daily routine to avoid falling into self-made traps of jealousy.
2. Fill Your Cup
Most of the time feelings of jealousy, resentment, and restlessness creep in when we are NOT looking after ourselves. Here I mean self-care needed for the body, mind, and soul.
When we fill our cup by constantly igniting our mind with new ideas and opportunities in areas of interest then the time to dwell on others is lesser. Taking care of our body through mindful eating, exercise and the occasional spa day keeps it rejuvenated and energetic.
And filling our soul with family time, bonding, spirituality, and music helps it evolve entirely into something wholesome and beautiful. The FOCUS tends to be YOU not them all the time.
So fill your cup with love, gratefulness, and hope – happiness will automatically come!
3. Silence the Shame Demons
Sometimes choosing LOVE over FEAR can be the hardest thing. And love for no one else – but yourself. Accepting yourself for truly who you are – with all your strengths, weaknesses, flaws, beauty, success, and failures.
Owning who you are and being your own ally/friend and cheerleader. I am not talking about arrogance but self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-respect.
When we watch others succeed, want to take a risk, make a mistake, or are comparing ourselves to others – our SHAME DEMONS tell us we are NOT GOOD ENOUGH (without any proof) and we, unfortunately, believe them.
They quietly whisper in our ears all that can go wrong, all that is wrong with us and we let them win. WE LET FEAR WIN. Only LOVE, CARE, CONNECTION, HOPE, and FAITH can quiet them. And this is truly important for us to THRIVE in life.
To know more on this read: From Shame to Empathy: A Journey Filled with Self Compassion
4. Be Inspired
Jealousy comes from a place of lack while inspiration comes from a place of abundance and both exist in our minds. It’s on us that we want to tap into and use.
As I had mentioned at the start – I did get jealous of my contemporaries with their huge fan followings but I eventually used it as an inspiration and still do to be better than before.
Use someone’s holiday, party, or spa day photo to want that from your life and work towards it. I mark and save so many restaurants, and weekend getaways in my Instagram as a comeback later. I think – “I can’t be here presently and or cannot afford/don’t need this dress right now, but I can always save this for later and use this information when needed.”
Being Hopeful shows us that this is not the end and we have many wonderful things coming our way in the future!
5. Chart Your Progress
Sometimes we forget to acknowledge how far we have come! Realizing our strengths and remembering our achievements can give us a deep sense of meaning and satisfaction in life.
Seeing our past selves – accepting our past selves and working on growing and learning can help us empower ourselves!
The FOCUS turns on us not others and that is the main idea! Because that is what truly matters. Our journey of self-discovery, self-compassion, and self-growth through all the challenges life throws at us.
To understand this more, read: Self Awareness: A Path to Happiness
In conclusion, comparisons are a part of life. It’s up to us – how we respond to this- with shame, fear, and discontentment or grace, hope, and self-love!